Our team receives dozens of calls and emails each week from nannies. Many of these are requests for advice on how to discuss compensation related issues with their nanny family. Some of the most popular questions we receive are:
– How do I ask for a raise or an annual review?
– How do I talk to the parents about putting a nanny contract into effect?
– Should I be reimbursed for mileage when using my own car to transport my nanny kids?
– What is the best way to discuss job duty creep?
If you have ever found yourself asking these same questions, you are not alone. Below, we walk through the eight most common advice requests we hear from nannies, along with our thoughts on how to advocate for yourself with confidence.
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Here is how to advocate for yourself as a nanny across eight real-world scenarios that come up regularly, along with how we recommend handling each situation.
Scenario #1: Wages for the position are too low
If the position seems like a great fit, we encourage nannies to still apply even if the advertised pay rate is lower than what they would accept.
Make sure to state your case as to why you are a great fit for the role, and also why you would ask a higher rate.
Explain what your years of nanny experience or your educational background has taught you, convey your value and what you would bring to the table as a nanny for that family.
Give some examples of things you might do with the child, or for the family, such as planning age-appropriate developmental activities, helping to establish or maintain structure, or how you will otherwise support the family.
A great way to communicate these things to families is with a well put together resume, and perhaps more importantly a cover letter outlining what you would bring to the family.
We do recommend being upfront about the rate you would ask for the position so that you’re sure not to waste anyone’s time, yours or the families if that rate does not fit the family’s budget.
If a family is not offering a high enough wage, they will of course see that in the experience or quality of the nanny applicants for that position.
If you press yourself as a stellar nanny candidate and can back up those claims, any family who is able to meet your pay expectations will likely do so in order to partner with a fantastic qualified nanny.
Scenario #2: Asking for a raise
This can be a really nerve-wracking process for nannies, because they often aren’t sure how to initiate that conversation.
A great way to do this (especially if you are near the one-year mark in your contract with your family) is to ask for an annual review.
If the cost of living has changed dramatically such as it did in 2022, and you have been with your family for less than a year, the review is an opportunity to sit down with your nanny family, and to provide and invite feedback on how things are going and what if anything could be done differently to improve the working relationship.
When asking for a raise, we do recommend doing some research on cost of living increases for that particular year.
Providing your family with some real numbers is helpful because you can base your requested raise on those figures.
Make sure you’re also prepared to discuss the value that you bring to your nanny family.
If you go out of your way and go above and beyond the required job duties, make sure to bring that up as well.
Another great topic to discuss when asking for a raise is how you plan to approach and support upcoming developmental milestones for your nanny child.
The keys to this conversation are to be professional, proactive, and to provide concrete examples.
Putting together an outline for this conversation can ensure that you will cover all of the points that you would like to cover.
Scenario #3: Job offer/Counteroffer
If you receive a job offer from a nanny family but it falls short of your expectations for compensation, don’t just decline the offer and walk away from the position. If it seems like a really good fit, make a counteroffer.
The family obviously really likes you and would love for you to be their nanny, respond back to them with what you would ask for or require from them in order to accept the position.
Remind them of your fantastic experience, your educational background, and the value that you would bring to their family as their nanny.
The worse that can happen is that they will say no, and ideally they will either accept your counteroffer, or they will counter your counteroffer with something that meets in the middle for everyone.
Just remember, that first job offer is typically not the final deal if it does not work for you.
Scenario #4: Not receiving mileage reimbursement
Reimbursing a nanny for miles driven in their own car on the job is considered a nanny industry standard.
Nannies, if you are not being reimbursed for mileage driven in your own vehicle on the job, you are bringing home less take-home pay than you would be if you are getting compensated for miles driven.
With the cost of operating a vehicle, not to mention a recent spike in gas prices, this can really add up.
The best time to ask for and discuss mileage reimbursement, of course, is before you accept a position, or when you are negotiating the contract with your nanny family.
However, if you’ve been working with a nanny family and you are not getting reimbursed for miles driven, don’t be shy about advocating for yourself and asking for this.
You can highlight the fact that it’s considered a nanny industry standard.
If you weren’t aware of that before you could say “I wasn’t aware this was an industry standard but I would really like to ask for mileage reimbursement for miles driven”.
Let your family know you can easily track miles driven on the job with an app, and submit that to them at the end of each week or every two weeks for a simple reimbursement. A fantastic app for tracking miles is one such as Mile IQ.
Scenario #5: Not receiving or being offered a nanny industry-standard compensation package
Now more than ever, it is a nanny’s market. Nannies, this means the ball is in your court.
If a family is not offering you a nanny industry standard compensation package, including guaranteed hours, paid time off, paid holidays, mileage reimbursement, and accrued paid sick time, some families truly just do not know that these compensation items are industry standard.
Be honest and upfront about what it is that you are looking for in your compensation package, and remember, just because a family isn’t offering it that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for, advocate for yourself, and receive a nanny industry-standard compensation package.
Scenario #6: Push back on paid time off or taking sick time
This is unfortunately a scenario that we hear happens a lot more than we would all think.
If your employer is pushing back on you taking paid time off or paid sick time, please be professional but firm about your requests.
Of course, try to give as much advance notice as possible for any paid time off, if you want to go above and beyond you can network with your local nanny community in order to help your family find coverage if they need it, however, this is not required. It does fall on your employer to find coverage if their nanny is out.
Importantly, make sure you agree to the paid time off and paid sick policy listed in the contract before signing that contract.
If you don’t agree with a language in that contract, discuss this with your employer to try to work something out that is agreeable and fair to everyone.
Scenario #7: Not having a nanny contract
We sometimes hear from nannies and families that they don’t use or prefer not to use a contract.
Not using a nanny contract is a red flag.
A nanny contract is simply a working agreement between all parties, it describes how the employer will hire you, it also outlines all of the parameters of the position including how and when pay happen.
If ever there is a dispute about how paid time off happens for example, you can just go back and reference the contract to determine a solution.
A contract holds all parties accountable, and we don’t recommend working without one.
If you have been working without a nanny contract, it’s never too late to start!
Speak with your employer and tell them you would prefer to work with a contract in place to ensure that everyone is on the same page.
Nanny Parent Connection has a fantastic nanny contract available on the website if you need that resource. Click here to check that out.
Scenario #8: Job duty creep
This is a common problem we hear about often from nannies.
Job duty creep is where additional job duties have been piled on one by one, or perhaps you have gone above and beyond and out of your way in order to do some extra responsibilities that are now expected of you at your nanny job.
The problem is these job duties were not originally discussed and agreed upon when you accepted the position with a family.
If you are experiencing job duty creep, sit down and have a conversation with your employer.
If you are happy to help out with these additional job duties, let your employer know, while you’re at it you can also ask your employer if there are any other job duties around the house that you may be able to help with.
Evaluate if those additional job duties and responsibility would merit a wage increase for you, and ask your employer what they think is appropriate.
These additional job duties then will need to be added to the contract, and the pay rate if it’s changing will need to be modified appropriately.
If the additional job duties are not added to your contract, you will at least come to an agreement with your employer that you are no longer responsible for these duties.
Advocating for yourself is one of the most valuable skills you can build as a nanny. By approaching these conversations with professionalism, preparation, and concrete examples, you can build a working relationship that is fair and rewarding for everyone involved.