So You Think You Want A Mary Poppins Nanny? ☂️

We recently came across a really interesting Reddit thread on this very topic that we wanted to share with you.

So, what does “Mary Poppins nanny” mean? 

It’s a hot term that comes up often and appears in many childcare ads as well. We hear parents in our community almost daily using this term when describing what they think their perfect nanny is: “We think of our perfect nanny as being a Mary Poppins nanny.” 

What does that mean exactly?

Some nannies have shared that they roll their eyes at the term when they come across it in their nanny search, because Mary Poppins has become synonymous with what a “perfect nanny” should be. 

Does the perfect nanny really exist? 

Some families would say yes, but it’s also really important to remember that Mary Poppins is a fictional character made up for a movie.

Let’s look at a comment made by one Reddit user and then dive into what it really means to be a Mary Poppins nanny, because it’s a term that so many people use and, we believe, are confused about.

Here is the comment, by “madammayorislove” (username from the Reddit thread):

“Every parent wants a Mary Poppins for their kid, but most don’t realize they could never handle her. She sets boundaries from the start, the kids need to take medicine, clean their room, she has a specific day off. She won’t be spoken to unkindly by Mr. Banks.

Yes, ignoring some of the less-than-ideal situations she puts the kid in… she is what we should try to be with our own nanny family. Setting firm boundaries, with both parents and kids and knowing our worth.”

That’s all interesting, right? 

Let’s unpack what exactly it means to be a Mary Poppins nanny. 

The thing that stands out about this comment is that the person writing it said “most parents could never handle a Mary Poppins nanny,” and on some level we have to agree. 

Let’s talk about Mary Poppins setting “boundaries with the father” (we take that to mean boundaries with the parents). 

Parents expect nannies to honor their parenting style. Of course, this needs to happen. You need to be in agreement and united in your approach to care and how certain things are handled throughout the day with a child so that the child has consistency. It’s going to be confusing if they have to behave or act in a certain way around their parents versus how they may act in a different way around their nanny. If expectations are clear from both the nanny and the family, that’s always really helpful. 

In a perfect world, of course, you would probably partner with a family or a nanny who is very much in alignment in styles. If you’re on opposite ends of the spectrum, obviously that is not going to work well. 

Some families recognize that the nanny is probably going to be bringing more years of child care experience into the household than the parents themselves might have, and this is especially true with first-time parents, or with a very experienced nanny who has years upon years of experience. 

Many new parents tell us that they’re very open to the nanny bringing forth ideas and suggestions about what to do or what not to do when it comes to things like sleep schedules, introducing solids, routines, and structure.

It’s very valid to say that a lot of nannies feel awkward about how they should make those recommendations or suggestions without stepping on toes.

We think it’s very important to set expectations upfront at the beginning of the relationship if possible, to say:

“Hey nanny, we know that you are bringing years of experience into this role and we want you to know that we very much value your years of experience, your knowledge, all of that, and we invite you to share anything that you think would help make the day flow better, anything that you see in any routines or things that we may be doing to help things operate more smoothly around our house or with our child.”

Just make sure that you communicate that upfront and make sure your nanny knows that they are invited and welcome to share their feedback so that they don’t wonder if they’re going to be stepping on toes. Some tact is required in the delivery of the message for things to go smoothly, but just keep that in mind. If you have that welcome mat out, your nanny will feel very much at ease in bringing forth suggestions. 

Almost all families say they value and welcome open communication. 

It’s worth making sure that families who say they value open communication and invite that from their nanny truly mean it, because sometimes that might mean having a difficult conversation with your nanny, or the nanny bringing forth a touchy or sensitive topic. For example, “maybe there’s a better way to facilitate nap time,” or “maybe there’s a different sleep schedule that might benefit your child more,” something to that effect. 

Mary Poppins also sets the expectation that the father is going to communicate with her respectfully and kindly.

(Again, we take that to mean “parents,” not just the “father.”) 

It’s pretty typical that families believe in the value of being kind and respectful to their nannies, but we also hear stories from nannies sometimes that things go down in a way that’s not very kind and respectful, and vice versa too. It certainly goes both ways. 

Having that expectation there, as Mary Poppins certainly did, that everyone is kind and respectful to one another, is the key.

Mary Poppins is setting boundaries and expectations about her days off.

That brings to mind having a clear-cut working agreement or nanny contract where the schedule is very well defined, any additional hours outside of those that are normally planned are discussed and agreed upon in advance, and if the nanny has things going on during normal downtime, those plans are honored and it’s not expected that the nanny is just going to drop plans to come and join the family. 

Setting those clear boundaries, make sure that if you want to work with a Mary Poppins nanny, you can handle what that all entails. 

Mary Poppins also set clear boundaries with the children.

This means if they need to take their medicine, they take it; if they need to clean their rooms, they’re doing it.

She has expectations about children being healthy, being kind, and also following the rules.

Make sure that if you truly want a Mary Poppins nanny, you’re okay with them following a structure and making sure they have boundaries, setting forth expectations about rules with children. Beyond that, we all know Mary Poppins is eternally cheerful. She brings joy and happiness into the home, she’s always singing and dancing and weaving important life lessons and magic into the day.

While all of those things are wonderful, it’s worth remembering that none of us are our best selves every single day. We try, and we reach for that, but some days it just doesn’t happen. 

So, keep in mind that while being cheerful, musical, and magical are all attributes and characteristics we love in nannies, it just might not be possible for that to happen every day. 

Remember that Mary Poppins is a fictional character, and while we can strive to emulate what she represents, it’s also maybe not realistic to be 100% of that 100% of the time. 

While all of these qualities are amazing, it’s also really hard to maintain them all of the time. 

The “spoonful of sugar” moments, also known as the joyous, cheerful, magical moments that make the medicine go down, also come with sometimes having tough conversations, setting clear boundaries, and upholding expectations concerning communication and being respectful and kind with one another. Mary Poppins might just not be the perfect fit for every family. 

If you’re a family looking for that Mary Poppins nanny, make sure that you remember what it all entails: not just the cheerful, joyful moments, but also the firm boundaries, the expectations, and all of those other things, including sometimes having tough conversations. 

A big thank you to “madammayorislove” for bringing forth this interesting discussion point. It’s a fascinating thing to consider, and it applies to so many of the day-to-day interactions we have with the parents who tell us, “Hey, I want that Mary Poppins nanny.” 

We hope you found this article helpful and interesting.